Must A Wannabe Content Creator Friend Cease Using Me for Content?

One Side: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?